How thin those fingers looked
holding onto the wooden bedside,
how easy they looked to snap in brittle crunches
to be gobbled up and tugged down throats,
muscles sensitive to the chunks of bone—
the blues fucking did it,
the blues drove both mad
and carnal and
and loosened necks fought
to balance lightweight heads.
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn…
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong And you really do have worth…
And you learn and learn…
With every good-bye you learn.
— Veronica A. Shorffstall, “After A While” (via thegirlandherbooks)
Before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water.
— Zen Buddhist Proverb (via lucifelle)